Feliz Noche Buena!

As I sit here in my mother in law's living room in cold, rainy Georgia, my heart and soul are 400 miles away at a small house in East Elm Street in sunny and hot Tampa, Florida...My grandparent's house. Home of the Bernaldo family for as long as I've been alive. My father's parents, who are two of the funniest, sweetest, loving people I have ever met. I am lucky enough to call them Buelie and Papa. Buelie is a strange name to call your grandmother unless you are of latin decent like I am...then Buelie is kind of a household name. If you took Spanish in high school, you might remember Abuela means grandmother. Well my older sister had a hard time saying it when she was little and Buelie kind of stuck. Believe me, the name totally suits her. On Christmas Eve, every year, my entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins, and even family friends) gather at my grandparents house for a feast and a party. The Spanish word for Christmas Eve is Noche Buena which literally translates to "good night". And it really is...it's actually the best night of the year. Buelie starts cooking about 3 to 4 days in advance. She makes a ton of food...roast pork with mojo is the main dish. And mojo is not the junk Austin Powers lost! It's a marinade made with sour oranges, lots of garlic, onions and a bunch of spices. It's heaven, really. She makes the mojo and then soaks the pork in it. Oh my...it's soo good I could kick myself. Black beans and rice compliment along with yuca, which is a root kind of like a potato but more tasty. You soak the yuca in mojo, too. There is always a loaf of fresh Cuban bread from the bakery which just melts in your mouth. It's the meal everyone in my entire family looks forward to all year. Then after the bellies are full, my crazy music loving family moves to the living room and Buelie starts passing out the pots and pans...why you ask? Because they make wonderful instruments of course! I am serious...we play anything that makes music. My grandfather, dad and aunt play real guitars and we follow along with whatever we are given. And we sing. We sing every Christmas song we know the words to....and that's a lot! We each take a part in the 12 days of Christmas, we do the background "pums" when someone takes the lead on Little Drummer Boy. We all sing our only Spanish Christmas song "Feliz Navidad" at the tops of our voices. It's so much fun...no matter how cheesy it sounds! And after we have sung, gifts are opened, hugs and kisses and exchanged and everyone goes onto their other family members' celebrations. But nothing tops the crazy traditions and amazing food that is Christmas with the Bernaldo's. I am so lucky to be a part of my family and I will miss spending Noche Buena with them this year. But very soon they will call and the phone will be passed around to everyone. And I will feel like I'm right there, with all my family surrounding me. If only I could make a plate of food appear!

The Best Christmas Gift Ever!

I know it sounds strange but today, December 23, is almost as special to me as Christmas day. For it was on this day that I received the best Christmas gift ever. Better than the Barbie Dreamhouse I got when I was 7 and even better than the promise ring I got from Wes in 1998. See, after 3 years of trying and 6 months of infertility hell on December 23, 2004, I found out I was pregnant. We had been through so much trying to start a family. I had a doctor tell me just 6 months earlier that I would never conceive. I could not accept that. How could God give me such an instinct to be a mother only to deny me the chance? My wonderful mother in law told me to see her doctor, they had a fertility specialist in their office. So I went and found the woman who would change my life. She told me at my very first appointment that she would get me pregnant and make my dream come true. After many months of different meds to regulate my body and many more drugs to help me be fertile, it finally happened. I knew something was up almost immediately. I started taking pregnancy tests and did so for about 2 weeks. Every one was negative. I hoped and prayed for a miracle, just begging for one of those many tests to be positive but no. I remember thinking "If this didn't work, I need to try again next month". I just needed an answer, one way or the other. I kept calling the doctor, "I haven't started my period yet but I keep getting negative test results. What should I do? I am ready to try again." And the answer was always the same. "Be Patient. Wait. If you don't start and you're still getting negative tests in 2 weeks from now, we'll see what we can do". I was so upset...I just wanted some answers. I'll never forget what happened December 22 and 23, 2004. I had 1 box, 2 tests left. I took one in the evening of the 22nd. Falconman was so mad at me...the doctor recommended I wait and use the first urine of the day since it would be more concentrated. But impatient me just HAD to take that test! It was negative and I was so upset. I remember crying on his shoulder that I just wanted to know one way or the other. I told myself I was going to NOT take the 2nd test, my last one, the next morning...I was going to wait and do it on Christmas Eve morning. I woke up on December 23, 2004 and decided to take the test..if I got a negative result on Christmas Eve, it would ruin my holiday. But if I took it on the 23rd and it was negative, I would not think about it fertility anything until after Christmas was over. I would enjoy my holiday and not be consumed with baby thoughts. So I got up, did the deed and set the test down on the counter and went back to bed. I just knew it was going to be negative...I was not going to sit there and watch the results. I would accept my fate, regardless of what it was. Falconman woke up as I got into bed and asked me if I had just used the last test. I confessed I had but explained to him my logic. I would be ok if it was negative. He teased me about not getting up to read the results right away. I told him "There's no need to. I'm pretty sure I know what it's going to say". He told me to get up and read it and come back to bed since we had a few hours before we had to get ready for work. When I got to the bathroom and looked at that test I could not believe my eyes. It was positive. Positive. Oh my God. It was POSITIVE!!! I actually had to get the box out of the trash and make sure I was reading it correctly! I said 'Oh my God. Oh my GOD!" Falconman said "What? Are you ok?" I screamed "IT'S POSITIVE! OH MY GOD! WE'RE PREGNANT!" I was crying and just ran to him. We hugged and cried and just held eachother. It was the single best moment of my life. Our dreams had come true...we were given a Christmas miracle. We called everyone we knew that morning...it was a wonderful memory. 9 months later in August when Ndub was born, it all came full circle and now 5 years removed from that magical morning, I still cry when I think back on it. So today on December 23, 2009, I am still thankful for my Christmas miracle. I hope all of you reading this get your very own! Merry Christmas!

A Blog Virgin No More!

Well I have finally done it. Taken the plunge. Took the flying leap. Made the jump. I joined the blogging world! Yay! It's something I have been thinking about doing for a long time, I guess. I love to write, my life is crazy at times, which gives me great material...why not blog? But for some reason, I just never did it. Well that time is over. I sit on my couch in the living room with my crazy red headed 4 year old son, who is fast asleep next to me, and my Atlanta Falcons football loving husband across the room, who is watching the game, and I type away. A lazy Sunday afternoon 5 days before Christmas. Uhhh...Christmas. So glad my shopping is done but...well...here goes. Do you ever sit and think after every gift is wrapped that you should have bought better gifts that what you did? I do this every year and I hate it. It would be so nice to have a huge shopping budget so I could buy amazing gifts for my family members. But this year especially, money is tight so the gifts were very inexpensive. I always put so much thought into what I buy. And every year when every gift is unwrapped and in my niece's and nephew's case, broken, I sit and mentally kick my ass. I mean what a waste of time and energy! It's Christmas...it's the thought that counts right? Right?!? That's what they say but the pressure to buy the perfect gift is ridiculous! One year, I want to skip the gift buying. Just skip it...save that money that is basically being blown on junk that will be thrown away within 3 months and maybe do homemade gifts...something meaningful. Something thoughtful. Think of how less stressful Christmas would be without gift buying. Christmas would be about peace, family, love. We'd still bake and decorate a tree and string up lights. Families would gather and eat and sing Christmas carols. And gifts would still be exchanged...but the homemade kind that would mean so much. Think about it...how many toys do your children already have? Do they need anymore? I know my son doesn't. But this is all just a dream...my Christmas dream. One where the time spent together is more important than the quality of gifts received. A southern girl can dream can't she?